gak tau ini true story or not, indeed I'm touched!

EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say 'Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry.'

This was Mother's First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten; My heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, 'Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish.'

This was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, 'Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.' Mother smiled and said 'Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired.'

This was Mother's Third Lie

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration; I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said 'Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!

This was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying 'I don't need love.'

This was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, 'I have enough money.'

That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me 'I'm not used to high living.'

That was Mother's Seventh Lie

In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, 'Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain.'

That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died.
YES, MOTHER WAS AN ANGEL!

M - O - T - H - E - R

'M' is for the Million things she gave me,

'O' means Only that she's growing old,

'T' is for the Tears she shed to save me,

'H' is for her Heart of gold,

'E' is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,

'R' means Right, and right she'll always be,

Put them all together, they spell 'MOTHER' a word that means the world to me.

For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.

source pic : Dorothea Lange, Migrant Mother;, Nipomo, California 1936

yup! up until now.. it reaches 71s!!!  boiled it up to next 17th .. the feeling I have inside is so absurd and weird...

how will she look like ? is 4D not enough ? will I strong enough ? will things run smooth ? will the clothes well prepared ? will she be ok ? can I support her best ?

another 7 -  the month I have to decide, back to work community or stay at home..

7 supposed to be my favorite number.. supposed to be the lucky one for great decision in life.. ah, help me God!

illust. from here

hanya dingin yang mampu memeluk erat tubuh mungil itu.  rumput pelan pelan mulai basah oleh embun malam.  kantuknya tlah lama hilang, pun rasa takut itu.  hanya nyeri di sekujur tubuh dan perasaan kosong yang berhasil menggerogoti sukmanya.  tetesan hangat mengalir ke jari-jari kakinya.  meluncur pelan tanpa henti.  ia berusaha bangun dan berjalan.  kibasan tangannya menjejak rambut yang masai oleh keringat bau yang asing.  tak ada yang berani mendekat.  bahkan kunang-kunang tak rela menemani gelapnya.  ia tak sadar kemana langkahnya membawa.  ia rindu air, rindu pelita.  matanya terpejam namun terus berjalan.  tanpa rasa, terjerembab dari satu lubang ke lubang lainnya.  tak mampu merintih lagi.  suaranya telah hilang bersama seluruh harga dirinya.  ia merasa sendiri dan sepertinya gelap itu tak henti membayangi diri.  semua senyap dan diam.  ia hilang.

Seteguk Air

handuk basah membuatnya menggigil.  hari sudah terang, meski hatinya tetap gelap.  bau asap menusuk hidungnya.  aroma nasi kukus mengoyak lambung yang berontak.  tapi ia tak mampu bangkit.  nyeri di sekujur tubuh masih terasa sangat.  kaki-kakinya tak bisa bergerak.  kalaupun bergeser sedikit, terasa ngilu dan pedih.  ada dedaunan hangat hampir mengering menyelimuti seluruh tubuhnya.  ia  tak paham apa yang terjadi.  semakin dalam ia mencoba mengingat, semakin perih terasa hingga ke nurani. 

seorang perempuan setengah baya menyeruak masuk menggendong baskom mengepul asap.  bau daun sirih.  perempuan itu menatapnya dengan mulut terkatup.  ia tak bicara sepatah katapun.  melodi pertemuan itu pun datar.  tangannya yang kasar meraup sirih-sirih basah.  mengganti daun yang hampir kering.  ketika ia mencoba membersihkan wilayah kaki dan perut, bocah kecil itu mengerut dan menjerit lirih.  tapi ia tak berontak.  ia biarkan perempuan itu menjamahnya dengan cepat walau hati-hati.

segumpal nasi hangat disorongkan ke kerongkongannya.  ia melalap lahap.  begitu pun bergelas-gelas air dalam kendi.  Semua lumat dalam sekejap.  hidangan terakhir, segelas minuman pahit disodorkan.  ia agak meronta.  baunya tajam dan memuakkan. Perempuan di depannya cuma tersenyum.  Ia mencoba meneguknya sekali lagi, mengikuti anggukan perempuan itu.  Semua habis.  Ia kembali lelap. 

Ia tak ingat berapa lama ia telah berbaring disitu.  Yang jelas, ia kini sudah mampu berjalan.  Perempuan yang menungguinya menyampiri sebungkal batu apung dan minyak yang harum sekali baunya.  Air yang dingin terasa menyegarkan.  Pertama kali sejak kegelapan itu ia merasakan kembali kehidupan.  Tubuhnya yang telanjang mulai jernih warnanya.  Masih ada sisa-sisa lebam kehitaman, namun tak banyak.  Ia mengurut-ngurut betisnya yang mungil.  Rasa sakit yang didera di sekitar paha dan perut telah lama hilang.  Yang tersisa cuma kepedihan dalam ingatannya saja.  Saat air diguyurnya dari atas hingga bawah, ia bersumpah untuk melupakan kegetiran itu.  Ia belajar tersenyum dan berdiri kokoh, meski ia tak tau apa yang akan dihadangnya didepan kelak.

no doubt about it, isn't it ?.

when your baby staring at you, right into your eyes, you know that he/she loves you so very much.  she is trying to remember your face! cos she knows, you are the most important person in her life.  so, why does you throw her away ? leave her for your ambition going to top of your career ? hand her over to other person to take care of ? difficult answer, rite ?

when your toddler shows her big smile seeing you appears after hours leave her alone.  she will jump right away, run to you and hug you so tight seems like never gonna let you go anymore.  She is trying it her best.  To show her affection, to get equal feedback.  Again, why this sign cannot help you understand how hard she builds the bridge of love to bind you in hers ?  instead, you think it is normal hug and sometimes, you are so worry that she might be too spoil ?

when your preschooler gives you gifts made by herself or picks some flowers just for you.  She is trying to impress you and desperately needs your hug and big kiss.  Where are those gifts now ? In the bin ? no wonder that you will lost the affection soon after you realise it..

when your kid shares her big secret to you: her first crush or her most embarassing moment.  You are her confidante, a hand to help her grows and stand.  Do you think to ruin this expectation ? 

being loved, sometimes, is a common moment we are so easy to ignore.  But then again, are you gonna ? when will this chance comes to you again ?  No one ever know until  lost it..

illustration: from here